Better Than Myself – Stadelheim Prison Songs

I can remember being overly fixated on my X back then, as she was the motivation behind my irresponsibility; The immediate cause of my effect. The blame was, is and will forever be my own however. Had I cared more about myself I would have never reacted to her cruelness in a self destructive way, ultimately never physically being present at the location where I got arrested. If, if, if…

This song marks a turning point at that time where I realized a potential vicious cycle starting in my life and my willingness to step in and break it. The prison shrink (yes, everyone has to see him) gets credit for that personal breakthrough. Or maybe I just told him what he wanted to hear? I don’t know anymore. Nonetheless, this and many other songs played an important role with me getting my shit together.

better-than-myself1

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Oktoberfest 2008 Flashback – Boob Quest

Look what I dug up. Pretty much by accident since trying to clear some hard drive space so that I can get some work done. Work?? What’s that? Yeah, yeah… whatever. Anyway, Oktoberfest 2009 begins in a matter of days so it seemed quite fitting to give y’all a glance at the world renown craziness since many of you have never been and many more never will. Here’s me and my pal Silke messin’ around just before we started our yearly tent-hopping tour! LOL!

Home Sweet & Sour Home

First off, I’m glad to be back home. Home being the outskirts of Hamburg Germany the last years. Before that, was Mannheim Germany and before that was Munich (nineties).

Wifey’s on vacation too so she’s got time to just hang out and that’s a nice thing as well. Since our dude dog died almost 2 weeks ago, it’s been really lame energy around here. Now that I’m back I hope I’m should be able to distract the girls (wifey & chick dog) from some all of that mutual sadness and brighten things up a bit around here.

First thing I have to do is get on the TIME man! It’s so easy to let jet lag get the best of you if you don’t get right on the local schedule. I stayed up until 6am last night and forced myself to wake up 4 hours later. Hopefully that jolts me on the time frame. We’ll see how dead I feel later today.

Not long after being home again or arriving fresh in the United States, I always pick out the little things that one continent has better than the other. You know, the grass is always greener (or stronger) on the other side of the fence. Something like that. Anyway, today’s difference is the Mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise

I know, seems like a small gripe. Sure. BUT after years of questioning why the heck the Europeans can’t master this stuff is beyond me. Even worse, the capitalistic US of A hasn’t managed to strike a deal with fukn Aldi or some other food giant around here? I’m telling you…a fortune lies in that arrangement for sure, ha!

I’m sure to come up with other puny reasons to miss America. Of course a big reason is echophonics! My new band. Fresh together, a couple very good gigs under our belt, a game plan and some natural chemistry together. Ja, ja…I had to muck things up by going home. 🙁 Of course the plane ticket was booked before the band even existed but still sucky timing all around.

It’s just a matter of time before everything comes together. I’m quite certain of that. Hang around and find out what happens…

Cheers!
Kamary

RIP Buccy 1996-2009

Yesterday, last night and this morning all are a time I’ll likely never forget. I spent hours online watching the passing of our dog Buccy. Sure, everyone says they have had the best pet anyone could have but it’s simple the truth when we (Susanne) and I say it. Buccy, you rule. I miss you already.

"Buccy" The best boy dog around!

Saying goodbye was particularly hard for me since I could only witness it via a Skype (video) call since I am still in USA and my family (Susanne, Buccy, Bonnie) are all in Germany. Watching the Vet arrive and seeing how Buccy ‘seemed’ to be psyched to see him carrying the large syringe with the deadly sleeping solution in it. No joke, he seemed to know what was coming and relieved that it was finally time.

Though it was definitely NOT the time for me, as I was hoping he’d wait for me to get home in another week or so, I feel good knowing that Buccy was ready to go. It was a peaceful experience that wasn’t hectic, nor rushed and several visitors came by during the course of the day to say goodbye. Since we have a 9 hour difference, I found myself saying those final goodbyes somewhere between 4AM and 6AM. Needless to say, I haven’t had a nights sleep yet at the time of writing this entry.

Me and my best 4-legged friend.
Me and my best 4-legged friend.

Bonnie, our other dog and Buccy’s life-partner, survives him and like many old ladies, is in better shape than he was. He died at 14 years old. That’s an old dog. Bonnie is 10 or 11 I believe. Super fit, active, generally happy-go-lucky. It’ll be interesting to see how she deals with all this over the next days and weeks. I hope she doesn’t let herself go in to any sort of negative down spiral as there’s no reason she isn’t around another few years. I’d be happy to spend them with her!

Bonnie

In closing, I must say how proud I am of Susanne that she dealt with the situation in a wonderful way and stayed strong and positive for Buccy. Animals sense peoples energy as we all know. It was important for me that Buccy not spend his last hours around crying and wining energy. Though difficult, also for me over the internet, we all managed to save the big tears until after his heart ceased to beat any longer.

Thanks babe, I love you for that.

The dynamic duo.
The dynamic duo.

On The Other Side

I figured a fitting, first post would be one depicting the current reality of my surroundings.  It was less than two weeks ago that I journeyed back to the USA (as permanent a possible) from my beloved Europe.

wheres the sun?
Right now out my window.

Thus far, I’m quite happy to be back and already business (for example) is opening up to new possibilities despite the realities of the countries economic strife.  I’ve never been one for good timing, ha!  Nonetheless, good times are another thing completely.  I have a sense, beyond the great events of recent past, there will be plenty of really good times to talk and write about for the next months to come.

What’s missing so far, at least in this Southern California area, is the sun!  I have to say that the European summer that I left behind is much more like summer.  As many of you know, I was in Los Angeles last year around election time and also early 2009 and it was quite hot; just like I like it!  I’m looking forward to days like that here in Los Alamitos too.

As I type, it’s raining and chilly outside. No sun and only about 18 grad outside. Brrrrr….  Seeing that we’re 10 minutes drive or so from Seal beach, I should not be surprised by the weather down here.   I’m thinking about getting a bike and doing some physical commuting instead of driving everywhere like most of the Cali-heads down here do. That’s likely the biggest culture clash that comes in to play for me; not being able to walk or take the Bahn any and every where I’d like to go.

my old stomping ground
My digs in central Amsterdam.

So, to put things in perspective, about 10 days ago I was hanging out in this neighborhood.  It was the kind of area where all you needed to get around were some good shoes. 🙂  Okay, luxury would be having a sturdy, light bike.  A car would basically be a big pain in the lower posterior, so if you find yourself in that part of the world do yourself a favor and leave the car at home!

On the left and right of the canal (what is also typical) are cafe’s, fresh fruit and vegetable vendors, pubs, hotels, coffee shops :), medical services, a police station and more.  The weather that day was fine, just cloudy in the direction of the photo.

street in Los Alamitos
My new neighborhood in "Los Al"

Now the flipside.  My new hood in Orange County California, or the OC as folks seem to call it around here.  It’s not a bad place to live by any means, simply different.  The pace alone is something to get accustomed to.  I’m over my Jetlag, however I’m not getting a lot of energy (not yet anyway) from the surroundings and I’m attributing it to the weather.  It’s been quite dreary to say the least as of late but for some reason yesterday (when I took the pic) was one of those days I’m hoping is what normal is around here.  I’m assured by complete strangers that it is.  We’ll see, so stay tuned.

This street is next to mine as I was walking (oh no! the “W” word) to the strip mall one more street over called, Katella.  There you’ll find a few restaurants, tanning salon, beauty salon, a 24h 7-11 (beer store), a donut shop, somekind of fitness supply shop and a fast food joint.  What else could someone possibly need within walking (Doh!) distance from home?

There you have it.  A visit to and from the other side.  I’ll be around here the next few months for sure as I figure out more exactly where I want to land.  I really like being near the water which both Hamburg and Amsterdam had to offer me the last several years.  Although I’m open to being inland of course. It will all come down to opportunity and circumstance.  Such is life in the Kam-lane.