I can remember being overly fixated on my X back then, as she was the motivation behind my irresponsibility; The immediate cause of my effect. The blame was, is and will forever be my own however. Had I cared more about myself I would have never reacted to her cruelness in a self destructive way, ultimately never physically being present at the location where I got arrested. If, if, if…
This song marks a turning point at that time where I realized a potential vicious cycle starting in my life and my willingness to step in and break it. The prison shrink (yes, everyone has to see him) gets credit for that personal breakthrough. Or maybe I just told him what he wanted to hear? I don’t know anymore. Nonetheless, this and many other songs played an important role with me getting my shit together.
Donate whatever you wish and download the “Better Than Myself” audio set! (includes CD quality .AIFF file, high quality MP3, lyric sheet)|Thanks for supporting independent music!
Early on in prison, the time came when my then girlfriend made it somewhat official that we were through. Of course today I can hardly relate to even having been so madly in love with that person and without a doubt she’d feel the same way if you asked her. Considering she dumped me all those year ago and at a time when I needed her (someone) most, I’m sure I’m right.
After a mere matter of weeks it was clear to me that I had a good shot at running shit in my new world. My partner had over 14 years experience and at the time he was, I think, 27. So as luck would have it (or so I thought) I had broad access to resources and information, all at my disposal. But at what cost?
This song captured the breakup (in a dear John letter) and my realization that together with my new cellmate, I was going to rise to the top of the shit heap; C-Block in Stadelheim prison.
Donate whatever you wish and download the “One Day” audio set! (includes CD quality .AIFF file, high quality MP3, lyric sheet)|Thanks for supporting independent music!
Many years ago around this time of year I was sitting in a jail sell. I sat through my birthday, the holidays, new years and then some; 101 days, to be exact. It was a strange time and an even weirder experience. Nonetheless, I grew as a result and certainly got through it.
One of the things that kept my mind centered was my love and need for music. It was the first time in my limited musical lifetime that I wrote complete musical pieces purely in my head. With no instruments or writing tools to speak of, for a time I could only sing melodies and imagine where those chords were located on the guitar and then have to remember it. It would be quite some time later before I’d ever have a guitar in my hands again. No dictaphones, no cellphones, no tape machines. Prison sucks.
I’ve decided to share those crudely written and recorded works here, in a new series called “STADELHEIM PRISON SONGS.” It was behind the walls of Europe’s largest prison, which also held Adolf Hitler for a similar amount of time, that I wrote 21 songs about the life and energy of the day. First up, “End Of Fiction” which today holds a new meaning, one that I will try to capture in a new music video perhaps. Thanks for listening.
Donate an amount of your choosing and download the END OF FICTION Audio Set! (includes a CD quality .aiff file, a high quality MP3 and lyric sheet)